The Jeremy Show Interviews

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Author Mike Albo

2009-07-16T15:55:00.001-07:00

With all my favorite shows in reruns (except for Big Brother, The Fashion Show, Whale Wars, Deadliest Catch, Cake Boss, etc.) I've had the opportunity to read a little bit more. I came across a wonderful gay memoir in the Chicago Public Library called Hornito: My Lie Life. The author, Mike Albo, was named "the ultimate satirist of the downtown New York social landscape" by The New York Times. We had a wonderful conversation- I thought I'd share it with you.

You wrote your book Hornito: My Lie Life in 2000, pre-9/11, pre-Two Girls and One Cup. When you look back on writing it, getting it published, seeing it for the first time- what memory stands out to you the most?
Ha...I love that you put 9-11 and Two Girls and One Cup in the same sentence! Bravo! Hornito was not just a book of the moment before all that, it was very much a collection of images and emotions and stories from my brain since birth. That book is the most physical embodiment of my inner life...and I am always so so grateful when someone spends time reading it.

In the book, you describe Eric (the boy you long for throughout the book) as being “only an advertisement for himself, smiling and offering a lovely vacation package to a verdant land that doesn’t exist.” Do you feel like you exist in your work? Or are you offering a lovely vacation package?
Oh man I love your questions. Its tough...at least for me, writing is about trying to connect. I want to pour as much as possible of myself into a book. Its kind of a snag for me because I just cant simply tell a story like some major pro like Stephen King or Dean Koontz. Even the Underminer is emotional to me — that book was about my frustration with post 9-11 America...with Bush, Paris Hilton, and the whole “Lets Go Shopping” era...it was my screed against what total mindless crap becomes successful in this country. But at the same time...I know that to actually write something and have people read it, you have to become an advertisement of yourself. Its interesting...this new book I am working on is all about people as advertisements...I don’t know if you and your readers have noticed, but now everyone is trying to be an ad these days...everyone has a profile...and if you go on Craigslist for a second (which of course I do for total research purposes :) ) you see people saying creepy shit like “I suck dick better!” or “The best bottom in the Upper East Side!” ...people have become half advertising now....

On the back of Hornito: My Lie Life the tagline describes your book as “David Sedaris and Sandra Bernhard rolled into one.” Are you a fan of Sandy? If so, do you think she rubs off in your work?
Ok, first of all, just so you know, we scrubby writers don’t have that much say over the copy that appears on our books. We only have so many battles we can fight for...and that blurb was something the PR people came up with. I think its diminishing...but whatever....but that said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sandra B. I think more than any other artist. Ms Berhnard has influenced me. She is such an incredible, subtle, lovely, secretly soulful performer. And a great writer.

I found it difficult to carry the paperback edition of the book through my office because of the cover. It sort of looks like porn- with the primary colors and bare chest. Whose chest is on the cover of the book? Did you get to pick that chest?
HA! So funny. As previously said, that cover was not my choice. We C-level writers don’t have much power over our representations. I suppose I could have put up a bitchfest but that’s not my style...the hardback cover was designed by a friend of mine, and I love it. The softcover is good too..in a gross way. People pick up naked torso shots. It is so not me.

Your second book, The Underminer warns the reader against that person in your life that you’ve known forever, who you can’t get rid of and who is always sort of one upping you and picking at you until you are suicidal. Do you have any Underminers in your life or have you gotten rid of all of them? Do you think there is a purpose for an Underminer in our lives?
No one can ever get rid of their underminers. I truly believe that. I am still friends with mine, and he is a great person who I would never shun. People who say “Oh! Yea, I used to have an underminer rin my life but I don’t anymore”? Those people ARE underminers!!!

The design of your website, www.mikeablo.com reminds me a little of the Heaven’s Gate website. It looks sort of like a website for a cult with you as the leader. Did you go about designing it with this sort of feel in mind?
YES!!!! That’s exactly what I am going for!!! I am trying to redesign it now (It takes forever! Do you know how to do it?? Is there anyone out there who can help me for a really crappy low pay???) And it will be getting even MORE cultish and psycho! I am a serious combo of urban-cynical and totally, totally new agey. My friend suzanne calls me a “critical hippie.”

I just stopped writing questions and got lost in your YouTube videos. Really funny. How did you get into performing characters? Did you start out in improv classes or did you just decide to do it…
I tried to take acting classes but I couldn’t handle it.... I learned how to perform by doing it. I wrote poetry in college and did reading and noticed that the more loose and performy I got the more the audience and I connected. Then I started performing in front of people and had to drink two bourbons before I went onstage. Slowly, slowly, I learned about breath, projection and and all that crap you learn.

Can you tell me the contents of your medicine cabinet? Please list every item.
Weird. Um. I have this little cup of random pills that people have given me and I have no idea what they do. I keep meaning to take them.

You say in your first book that you “hate the hairless-beauty youth culture.” You wear your hair slightly long with some facial hair. Is this an act of rebellion against the overly groomed gay culture or are you nature-y and outdoorsy?
Maybe? Not totally intentionally, but maybe?

I picked your book up at the library. I am going through a gay fiction phase- can’t get enough of it. Have you ever hooked up in a library? What are you reading right now?
I am reading The Possibility of an Island by Michel Houellebecq...I love him...
I hooked up in the stacks of Columbia University Library stacks. But I am kind of bad at ‘cruising’....

More importantly, what are you watching on TV right now?
I don’t have a TV (well I do but its not connected...) but I CAN WAIT for Project Runway!!! I was a total, complete Battlestar Galactica fan.

When you were little did you dream of being named the “ultimate satirist of the downtown New York social landscape” by The New York Times?
No...i have always dreamed of being a poet. But you know what...at the same time I have always loved satirizing. In 6th grade I performed a satire of Pollyanna in front of the entire class. So I guess its always been in my blood.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Dustin from Big Brother 8

2007-12-14T16:37:00.001-08:00

As you know, I spent the last two summers glued to the internet and television watching Big Brother. One of my favorite houseguests, Dustin (a fellow Chicagoan) agreed to chat with me about Big Brother, Prince Harry and whats in his medicine cabinet.

Tell me three things you learned about being on Big Brother 8 and three things that you think the fans should know about the show.
1- EVERYONE is judgemental. Everyone.
2- Skinny people are miserable, ie Daniele
3- Conservative Christians still think homosexuality is a choice! Because apparently, they were asked.

Seeing as I never applied for Big Brother, and I really wasn't a fan of the show either, the whole process was a learning experience about the show. But I think its really important for fans to know that there is a producer who talks to you in the diary room. We don't just sit down and start venting, we're prompted for certain topics, opinions, thoughts, etc... They encourage strategic moves and/or decisions.

I'm sure you're sick of answering this question but watching "Evil Dick" basically gay bash you on the Internet was terrifying. I was totally brought back to junior high, which is his mentality. However, you voted for him to win over his daughter. Why?

I played the game strategically, not personally. When voting for the winner, I put personal issues aside; for both of them. She's SUCH a negative Nancy and he's an over-grown rebellious teen seeking attention. But game-wise, he played the game for two. Every move he made he did for her as well. No one else can say that. He played a strong game because if it were not for him, she would have been gone sooner than later. His comments and gay bashing didn't hurt me as much as it hurt others. What he did to the women in the house was in my eyes, much worse.

more on Dick Donato's irresponsible behavior via Logo online

Why didn't you stay in LA?

I still have 3 classes left to take for my major here and LA is dirty, tacky, and expensive. Some of my best friends live there, but Its not right for me right now. I'm much more a "New York City Boy"

What is the craziest fan experience you've had and what's the most annoying thing people ask you?

Craziest Fan experience. I had a crier once. I was at the airport on my way from Minneapolis to Chicago and there was a woman who gasped, threw her hands over her head and cried. She didn't only take a photo with me, but of me as well. tying my shoe, digging in my bag, walking away. She straight up paparazzied my ass. A stranger also told me his best friend had died that day. That was bizarre too.

You are studying fashion. What is your first fashion memory? What movies, celebrities, etc, influence your fashion sense? What are you trying to say with your sense of style?

My first fashion memory is my black overalls with choo-choo trains on them. I was 3; They were so fly and I was a pimp in them. I never wanted to take them off and I will never forget them.
My sense of style is non-existent. I don't do patterns, I rarely wear colors, and I like simplicity. Classics with class I guess. Its important for me to have staple pieces on at all times. Great footwear is essential. For the summer in BB though, I packed all lounge wear which included the grey t-shirt.

Take me through a typical day with Dustin…
Coffee, breakfast, and stretching in the morning, work all day, Gym by 6, dinner at 8; usually at home. Then I watch a movie, talk on the phone and pass out. Like clockwork though, I wake up at 2:45 AM and have a snack and a bottle of water, which is where I am now.

Do you have a favorite Chicago bar/hangout and why?
I RARELY go out. Statement of truth. So when I do, its by someone else's accord and I just go with the flow where they go. In the summer I love Foster Beach. Its low-key and down the street from me.

If you were to go to a therapist what issue do you think you'd spend the most time working on?.....Tell me more about that….
HAHAHA Trust issues! As you know from the show, there is a lot of trust that was broken in my one and only relationship to date. My best friend slept with my ex, family members have lied and stolen from me. There's just a lot of deceit in my past so its hard for me to trust others.

Can you tell me what you have in your medicine cabinet. Please list all the contents, brand names, etc.
band-aids, neosporin, clean&clear astringent, Murray's pomade, MAC concealer, Tweezerman tweezers, Tweezerman toenail clipper, Renu contact solution, my glasses, an eyelash curler, back-up contacts, Target optical lens cleaner, sponges, various chapsticks with the labels peeled off, Arrid XX - Morning Clean, Dayquil, and Biore pore strips.

What are you asking Santa for this Christmas?
Hunter Wellington Boots, black, size 43
and the Six Feet Under complete season DVD collection. Bets are high that I'll receive neither! I'm single dammit!

The Dustin Celebrity Playlist-- Name ten songs that we should be listening to?
RJD2 - 1976
Scala & Kolacny Brothers - Heartbeats
basement jaxx - Smoke Bubbles
Seal - Waiting For You
The Blow - Hey Boy
Uffie - Pop the Glock
Of Montreal - A Sentence of Sorts in Kortsvinger
Hard-Fi - Move on Now
Annie Lennox - Little Bird
Original Broadway Cast of Fosse - Crunchy Granola Suite

I see that you like the Pet Shop Boys. Please tell my boyfriend why he should listen to them, he hates them.
If you're feeling blue, and in the mood for some campy 80's electro-beats with an incredibly smooth lead singer, its all there! Lets face it, West End Girls is played EVERYWHERE, from Office Max to Tattoo Parlors. Everyone ought to love a little Pet Shop.

I also see that you enjoy Madonna, what are your top three songs?
Borderline, Frozen, and Holiday

So you and Prince Harry are on a date, after you've both snorted some vodka, what's your perfect evening?
After having our photograph taken by the paparazzi, for future reference that this evening did, in fact, occur; We go back to the palace. He dresses up like the prince that he is and we equestrian ride for a few hours. I of course, get to wear riding boots. Then we snort more vodka, followed by smoking crumpets and eating tea. We sit in the royal throne for a minute while gazing at each other and do it right there on the palace floor. A sex tape is later "leaked" to the British media.

I want to thank Dustin so much for his time. Because of the writer's strike CBS is putting Big Brother back on the air this February. I am going to try like hell not to watch it. That's bullshit.

5 Questions with Mike from Big Brother 8

2007-08-01T22:11:00.001-07:00

Mike Dutz made such a graceful exit on Big Brother that I had to ring him up and get his thoughts on the show and other important issues.

1. You have a great body! Where is the first place to start (exercise wise) that would get rid of a beer belly?
Cardio, lots and lots of cardio.

2.Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or Velveeta Shells and Cheese?
Velveeta Shells and cheese

3.Anything exciting happen while you were gone?
I've lined up potential work from being on the show.

4. Best moment in BB house?
The strong man competition!

5. How many wives does Magnus have?
7 wives

Love the show and really fell in love with you on the last episode. You should be really proud of yourself.
Thanks for watching and supporting me on the show. It was an honor to be there.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Geoffrey Todd Smith

2007-07-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Geoffrey Todd Smith is an artist who uses gel pens to create beautiful graphic paintings for you to get lost in. I met him many years ago when I was living in Crystal Lake.

I met you at Borders. You were talking to anyone who would listen about how you were so hung over because you had too many Long Island Iced Teas. What do you remember about me?

You were wearing white socks with black shoes and your hair was bleach blond. I thought you might prefer the company of men. You and a girl named Audrey were the only ones who would talk to me. She was 16. That's a tender age.

You use gel pens and scrapbook paper for your drawings. How did you come to use these and why?

A girl I know gave me a gel pen and I doodled with it. I thought it was refreshing to use materials that didn't have the history that painting had but were suitable to communicate my ideas.

How does it feel to be named by Chicago Magazine as one of the "rising art stars we should be collecting now" What do you collect?

I was surprised by the interest in the drawings over the past year or so. It is nice to know I am not just making them for myself. I collect gel pens for obvious reasons. I used to collect scratch n sniffs.

You watch television while you create your paintings, what shows do you watch?

At this point, whatever is on that I can listen to in the background but not get too distracted by. General Hospital played a role in my formative gel pen years.

Several articles have commented about how your work seems to capture a 1980's-teenage girl-video game aesthetic. Do you think your work is an expression of your youth in anyway? How about femininity?

They are very much inspired by the activities of youth that required my intense focus. Puzzles, board games, video games, sticker collections, etc. I understand the reference to femininity but I think that is mainly connected to my comfort in creating beautiful things. Artists often run from the term decorative but it doesn't bother me.

How did you pass time in your youth?

Played sports, cartoons, swimming, videogames, Ate a lot of candy, drawing, fought with my brother a lot.

Artists have a tendency to be crazy. Are you crazy? What really crazy things do you do?

I am not crazy. In fact, I am pretty well grounded in reality. I haven't had an apartment for almost three years. Not really crazy but perhaps a bit unusual.

I have always found the titles of your paintings to be poetic. Beyond your painting, do you see yourself ever branching out into other areas- music, film, writing?

You can't serve two masters. I have come to terms with my area of focus being visual art. My newest title is "The Graceful Ghost In the Chandelier Has Sexy To Spare And a Body That's Shear".

You are a big fan of music. What music should we be listening to?

Lately, I have been listening to Panda Bear, Handsome Furs, Hold Steady, Bright Black Morning Light, Peter, Bjorn and John, Jens Leckman...

I enjoy hearing what products people use. What shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant, other grooming products do you prefer?

I like the moves Old Spice has made into the new millennium. That old shit was no indication of the way my armpits would be smelling in 2007.

When I lived with you, you would often complain about "summer balls." Has this summer been difficult for your balls?
Fuck yeah. Summer is always a bad time for bat wings!

Anything you want to ask me?
Have you ever had a toothache?

Yes, in fact my boyfriend has been having lots of toothaches and we have been treating them with "Oral Analgesic Paste."

Geoffrey's work can currently be seen at The Evanston Art Center's “Obsessive Explosive," at 2603 Sheridan in Evanston, IL through Sun 7/8. His work will also be at Western Exhibitions, 1821 W Hubbard, Suite 202, Chicago, IL in September.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Vidkid Timo

2007-06-20T14:48:00.000-07:00

My gentleman friend and I came across the adult movie “Mardi Gras Cowboy” at a benefit for Howard Brown Medical Center in Chicago. We picked it up and fell in love with it. It is now my boyfriend’s favorite adult film. It’s not your typical porn movie, it is really well written and has a lot of heart. I wanted to cry at the end. So I invited one of the stars and creators of Mardi Gras Cowboy, Vidkid Timo, to stop by The Jeremy Show for a chat.

Can you tell me a little about where you came up with the idea for “Mardi Gras Cowboy?
You know, I can't take credit for the concept. I had never even seen MIDNIGHT COWBOY. But the co-producer, a New Orleans videographer called Rico de la Playa, came to me with the idea. He showed me a videotape of MIDNIGHT COWBOY... and I immediately saw the gay-porn parody in my mind. I finished the script within a week.

Where did you grow up?
I hail from a little town in Louisiana... St. Francisville. I call it "the town that slavery built" since there are so many Antebellum homes.

What is your first memory?
Having Desitin ointment smoothed on my genitals to prevent diaper rash. I remember HATING the feeling of it... but being unable to speak, I couldn't express that to my dear mother.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
That fluctuated from doctor to artist to writer. I guess, in a way, I ended up dabbling in all of those fields.

You won the award for best supporting actor for MGC, what was that experience like? Did you expect to win?
It was a huge honor and an even bigger shock. If I had a better sense that I might've won, I might've tried harder to get to the award ceremony. But Jim Buck picked up the award for me. The following year, having four nominations for AT TWILIGHT COME THE FLESH-EATERS, inspired me to attend an award ceremony in California. I didn't win that time! But I got to sit at the same table as Kristen Bjorn.

Do you still keep in touch with Jim Buck? How is he doing?
Since I moved away from New Orleans, I haven't seen him. But we do correspond. He is well. He's involved with a great many creative and educational endeavors.

What films inspired you as a young filmmaker?
GONE WITH THE WIND was the main one. MAHOGANY a bit later. And all of the John Waters films in my college days and beyond.

How did you go from creating comic films to adult films?
As I was waiting for MARDI GRAS COWBOY to be completed (it took about 10 months)... I started making amateur-style porn... to make ends meet. And it was a lot of fun... and satisfied my need to be creative. So, that took off. I told myself when I started that I would like to do it successfully for five years... and at the seven year mark I realized that I had over-shot my goal! I immediately started planning a phased retirement... and less than a year later, I was done. And I'm so happy I did it that way.

What are some things we wouldn’t know about the adult film industry?
That many people involved in it are neither desperate nor unintelligent. That was a pleasant surprise. But the seedy elements also exist in it, of course.

You mention on your website that you are “emotionally retarted”, explain:
My site says that?! LOL It's sort of said in a joking way. But I think it's fair to characterize myself as immature... much more so when I was making porn. I've grown up a LOT since I've been in my current relationship... dealing with marital and family duties. I simply had less time for cartoon-watching. :-)

What kind of movies do you make now? Tell me a little about them
I don't really make any movies right now. Since we moved to the country, I'm a housewife. LOL But last year (and several years preceding) I would help my friend Jeff (who portrays the "Varla Jean Merman" character) film several musical shorts. That's always fun. I had to bow out of that duty recently because of all our animals. The fish had babies... they have to be fed thrice a day.

How do you feel about “bareback” films?
Years ago I thought that they were irresponsible... but then I came to the opinion that since there was a demand... and since there were models who preferred to have sex that way (usually with trusted fuck-buddies) that it was okay (for me) to film and release films that included raw action. I always included a disclaimer encouraging people to be proactive with there own decisions in that arena.

What is your favorite film that you’ve made? Adult film and non adult film
I really loved so many of the films I made... it's hard to choose. But I'm particularly fond MID-SUMMER DREAMS, which was one of my last xxx films. And as for non-adult... I made a music video with Varla for a song called "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off". That footage was priceless. But, I didn't do the editing.

Where do you live now?
My husband I live in a place EVEN SMALLER and more remote than the one I grew up in... just outside of Wilmer, Alabama.

How is New Orleans now?
Since Hurricane Katrina, we've only been to New Orleans to check our post office box... and to see one of Varla's plays. So, we haven't really "hung out" to notice if the spirit of the city has changed. But from what we've seen... much of it still looks like a war-zone. And many of our favorite restaurants have closed, according to our friends.

What advice would you give to a semi-young, frustrated artist/writer/performer named Jeremy?

To quote Sondheim, "art isn't easy". It's a lot of figuring out how to do stuff YOUR way, without compromising your vision or integrity. Coming to those realizations sometimes take a long, long, LONG time... and the paths are different for everyone. Very little of the advice I got was useful to me. But I had stuff I wanted to accomplish... and I managed to do those things... not always at the level I imagined... but most of life is like that. Basically, all I can advise you to do is to research, create and network. The rest, sort of, is up to chance.

What advice would you give a new couple?
That's easy. So many of my relationships ended after the first 3 months or so because of a dramatic change that occurred which lead me to believe that the "magic" was over. But then I saw on some talk show about how the intense feeling you get when you first fall in love (infatuation, for lack of a better term) is not physically able to be sustained longer than 3 months. That happens in order to get couples interested in one another. When that feeling subsides, it doesn't mean the relationship is over... it means there is a next step... one that I didn't grasp. If you're with someone that you had that feeling for... and he's good to you... stick with him. Because once you grieve the loss of the "infatuation" period... you'll settle into a new feeling... a comfortable, stable happiness. And absolutely you'll feel the strong rush of emotions that hooked you up in the first place... just not as often. Relationships and commitments are SO MUCH better than just the fun fuck-filled first 3 months. The tricky part is finding someone who understands that and feels the same way about working-through a relationship with you. And... excellent communication skills are a big plus.

Where can people go if they want to see “Mardi Gras Cowboy?”
From what I understand, it can only be purchased from All Worlds Video (their site used to be allworldsvideo.com - but I haven't checked in a while, so that might've changed... and I heard they were redesigning it). And many of my other xxx videos can still be viewed online... links are on my site: www.vidkidtimo.com

The next time you come to Chicago will you have a drink with my boyfriend and I?
I don't really go to gay bars anymore, but I'd love to do coffee or dinner. Absolutely, that would be my pleasure.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: The Lady Taja Mahal

2007-06-20T14:47:00.002-07:00

I bumped into The Lady Taja Mahal online and asked her if she'd grant me an interview. The Lady holds court on Wednesday night in Boystown, Chicago at Hydrate.

Do you remember the first time you wore a dress?
The first time I wore a dress was after church one Easter morning. My parents were shocked to see me come out of their room in my moms new Easter dress and hat dragging the floor.

Do you live most of your life as a woman or a man?
I live all of my life as a woman. Its kind of hard to be a man with 40DD tits.

What do you like about being a man?
I can not answer this question since I do not consider myself a man.

What do you like about being a woman?
I love being able to wear makeup if I want to or just going natural. Dressing up or dressing down. Playing with my tits.

You mention that you are a very religious person. Was
there ever a time when you struggled with your faith
because of your sexuality/lifestyle?
I have never struggled because my mother has always been supportive. She taught me from a very early age that God loved everyone just the way they are. I am blessed to have a mother who lives by John 3:16 and reminds me of it everyday.

The first song you ever performed was
"Where Do Broken Hearts Go" by Whitney Houston. Is
Whitney one of your idols? Who are some of your other
idols or favorite performers and why are they your
favorites?
I have always and will always love Whitney. She has struggled with many complications in her life but no one can deny the talent she has. I also idolize such greats like Patti LaBelle, Aretha Franklin, Jennifer Holiday and Gladys Knight.

If you could have a dream date with any celebrity who
would it be with and where would you go?
Hmmmmmmmmm....there are a few but if I had to pick just one it would be Cameron Mathison from All My Children and we would go straight to my bedroom.

Do you have rituals that you do before a show?
My rituals include taking a nice nap before makeup application so that my face is relaxed.

You travel a lot around the midwest. What is the worst
experience you've had while "on the road?"
I was on the way to Iowa one night and my friend was driving and speeding because we were late. We got pulled over and the cop had a million questions.
I was napping before he pulled us and wearing a cut up t-shirt with no bra. I did not realize that as I lay, my right tit has come out of my t-shirt and that is why he had so many questions...he was just getting a free peep show.

What do you have in your purse/bag? Please list all
the contents if you can.
Inside of my Louis Vuitton purse you will find my Louis Vuitton wallet, change purse, check book, business car holder, chapstick, palm pilot, Lane Bryant coupons, Chanel sunglasses, Advil and Altoids.

You said that it is your dream to be Miss Continental
Plus? What is Miss Continental Plus? Why is this your
dream? If you do achieve this dream, what is your next goal?
Miss Continental Plus is a national pageant for professional female impersonation entertainers. It is my dream because it is like winning an Emmy or Oscar in my line of work. Once I achieve that goal I seek to find work on televison and the big screen.

Please complete these sentences...

God is good all the time.

Sex is a foreign word to me.

I get angry when guys lead me on.

People are interesting.

I am thinking about trying out for an amateur drag
show. You mention that there are do's and dont's of
female impersonation? What are they?
There are far too many do's and dont's to name without taking up an entire page.
I will remind you that makeup is the key. Just remember cover girl does not cover boy.

Where can we see you perform?
You can find me every Wednesday night at Hydrate...3458 N Halsted www.hydratechicago.com

Visit www.theladytajmahall.com to learn more.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Rob Christopher

2007-06-20T14:47:00.001-07:00

I am delighted to have Rob as my guest this morning on The Jeremy Show. Rob Christopher was the first real friend I met in Chicago. I'ts not easy to put up with me- the smoking, the bad outfits, the forced viewings of Madonna and Sandra Bernhard DVDs- but he passed the test.

He is the author of 100 Spinning Plates and is the editor of a wonderful documentary Kosher Messiah. He's not fucking around.

How did you come up with the unusual concept for your
book "100 Spinning Plates?" What is your favorite
passage or quote from the book?

The idea didn't really come to me all at once, it sort of evolved from the desire to write very short pieces. I was having some writer's block at the time, and thinking about tackling a whole full-length project was more than I could deal with. So I told myself, well, what if I wrote stuff that was only one page long. I wrote some of those and somewhere along the way I stole, err, appropriated a structure from a John Cage lecture piece he created called "Indeterminacy." Once I settled on there being 100 of them, I just used my instinct and if a story didn't fit I took it out and tried something else. I don't know if I really have a favorite part. The Ex-lax story?

You are working on a new book, What is the title? What
it is about? Is there sex? Is it secretly about me? If
it's not about me what would you call the novel you
will eventually write about me?

It's called "Tiny Apocalypse," and it takes place in Chicago circa 1999-2000, you know, Y2K anxiety and all, the verge of a brave new era that of course turned out to be neither brave nor new. It centers around this dysfunctional gay dating relationship ... one of the guys is kind of a
free-floating slacker, and the other is a self-absorbed materialist. There's some drug scenes and one fairly hot sex scene. But I didn't want to write about sex too much. There are plenty of other gay novels that focus on that. Ha, no, I wouldn't say it's secretly about you although I planted a little scene where you make a cameo. We'll see if anyone spots it. If I were to write a novel about you I'd call it "Baby Let's Play House."

You've mentioned before that your celebrity crush is
Jake Gyllenhaal. So, you get to take a romantic naked
jacuzzi with Jake- but the jacuzzi is made for three
and you must choose another jacuzzi mate. Will it be
Paris Hilton? Michael Jackson? or Dick Cheney? Please
explain your answer.

I think it'd hafta be Paris. I could tune her out, no big deal. Maybe she could just be talking on her cell phone the whole time. But MJ and Dick, blech, no way could I have an erection within a 100 yards of either.

What do you have in your pockets and your bag today?
Please list all the contents.

Actually since I'm sitting at home I don't have anything in my pockets except for a Kleenex. I think it's always a good idea to have a tissue handy. In my bag (or manpurse, if you insist) I have the book I'm reading ("Rum"), my iPod A/C adapter, my last paycheck from work, 2 movie passes to any Loewe's Theater, which constitute my holiday bonus, and a black ink pen.

When was the last time you ate fast food and what did
you order?

Earlier this week I stopped by Chipotle because I was just too tired to deal with cooking anything. Burrito Bol with spicy shredded beef, black beans, red tomatillo, lettuce, sour cream, cheese. 3,000 calories.

***Jeremy's note-- I think it's interesting that Rob considers Chipotle to be fast food. To me, Chipotle is fine dining. ***

Name five of your favorite things...

"My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts" by Brian Eno and David Byrne, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Mai Tais, livejournal, "Belle de Jour" by Bunuel.

Keeping with the Oprah theme, "What do you know for
sure?"

I know for sure that things in this country are gonna hafta get a whole lot worse before they can get better. What I don't know is if things are gonna get better.

If you were to send Andy (your boyfriend) flowers today, what would you
write on the card?

Love you madly, Rob.

List your least favorite question of all the ones I
have asked you today?

Picturing either Michael Jackson or Dick Cheney naked in a hot tub with me is nauseating.

Read more about Rob at his website www.randomcha.net.

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Brini Maxwell

2007-06-20T14:46:00.001-07:00

One evening I was channel surfing and literally fell off my chair when I discovered The Brini Maxwell Show on the Style network. My life will never be the same. I made it my mission to have Brini here on The Jeremy Show. My humble prayer has been answered. Ladies and Gentlemen, Brini Maxwell.

Hello Brini! The Brini Maxwell Show: The First Season has
just been released. Congratulations! For those poor
souls that have never seen it, how would you describe
The Brini Maxwell Show?
The Brini Maxwell Show is a lifestyle service show with tips, recipes, interior design ideas and interviews with people that are passionate about things.

When Brini was a little girl what did she want to be
when she grew up?
I wanted to be just what I am. A domestic engineer with ties to the past.

What's the best cocktail for a late summer dinner
party? Could we bother you for the recipe?
The Summer Breeze - It's in my book (Brini Maxwell's Guide to Gracious Living) which will be released in October by Stewart Tabori and Chang.

Summer Breeze

1 1/2 ounces Bacardi Limon
1 ounce pink grapefruit juice
1 ounce orange juice
Dash of grenadine

Shake all ingredients in a shaker filled with ice. Strain into a martini glass, drop a cherry in, and enjoy!

Serves 1

What is your morning routine?
I get up at around 7:30, brush my teeth, shower and put on my makeup. Then I make breakfast (usually sausage and pancakes or something similar) and then get dressed and go about my day.

I'm a smoker, and I'm trying to quit. Or I plan to try
to quit. Or I'm thinking about planning to try to
quit. Anyway, what's your worst habit? What do you do
to try to stop it?
My worst habit is probably shopping. I buy far too much clothing, and home accessories then one girl needs. It's very theraputic though.

What does the ring on your cellphone sound like?
It sounds like an old dial phone.

What is in your purse? If you could list all the
contents for our viewers that would be fantastic.
My purse contains my wallet (of course) a lipstick and lip brush, miniture powder compact, comb, hairspray, small package of tissues, handbag caddy (to hang your handbag from the dining table), rain bonnet and a few starlight mints.

If you were going to make me a mix cd, name some songs
you would put on it.
The McMillan and Wife Theme - The John Gregory Orchestra
Alfie - Matt Monro
Barbarella Theme - Ferrante and Teicher
Wave - Oscar Peterson
The Days of Wine and Roses - Nancy Wilson
Something for Cat - Henry Mancini

Have you ever received a speeding ticket? Was the
policeman handsome?
I haven't, actually. I drive very carefully. I wouldn't want to dent the fender of my '66 Thunderbird convertable.

What is your motto?
I don't know that I have one. I like to live my life with an air of sophistication and casual hospitality, and to do that I guess I'd have to buy into the girl scouts and say that Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.

Thank you so much!
Best, Brini.

The Brini Maxwell show airs at 9:30 every Thursday night on the Style Network. Learn more at www.brinimaxwell.com

The Jeremy Show Interviews: Kara Buller

2007-06-20T14:45:00.001-07:00

Kara Buller has agreed to open up her life and her purse for The Jeremy Show. Kara Buller is a stand up comedian who has been tearing up the boards on the Chicago Stand-Up circuit for years.

From Kara's bio- "During her six years in Chicago, Kara Buller has done just about all you can do to a stage. She has been a theater critic, writer, actor, improviser, stand-up comic, story-teller, and instructor. She has written and performed three shows in Chicago: A Fag & His Hag, Work (both with Jeremy Wells) and Cowboy Crushes, Prank Calls & The Biblette. In response to her two-person show A Fag & His Hag, The Chicago Reader claimed Buller showed "great comic promise, with a self-deprecating edge to her carefully enunciated phrasing."

You've been doing stand up comedy for awhile now in many of the greater venues around chicago, you've even traveled the greater midwest spreading love and laughter...have you ever gotten busy in in a comedy club, how far have you gone, with who and how was it?

Yes, some business has been taken care of in the comedy clubs. It has always been
very tasteful and tender business, oddly enough. I think it's important to have feelings for the people you are with, and to then get overly attached and act inappropriate towards them.

What is your stripper name (first childhood pet, and
name of the first street you lived on)?

Brandy Unknown

You're planning a trip to southeast Asia. First, what
is Southeast Asia and second, why are you going there
and what will you do when you are there? What will you
buy me?

Southeast Asia is China's sexy little sister. She teeters around on clear plastic heels and drinks way too much. She is constantly making out with European and Scandinavian backpackers, entertaining pedophiles and making really good meals. Southeast Asia includes Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia, the Phillipines, the Krati Peninsula, the Galapagos, Puerto Rico and all Sandals Resorts.

I am going for the only reason I do anything: DRAMA! Angkor Wat in Cambodia is the world's largest religious structure. It was the crown jewel of the great Khmer empire--and is the only building visible from outer space! Then things started to go not so well for the Khmer: the Thai army came, the French came and in the 1970s the Khmer Rouge took over and ended up killing 2 million of their own people. It's a huge failure you can see from outer space. This moves me. The things that humans can do--and undo. I want to see it with my own two eyes (pointing two fingers to my eyes). Also, I have a friend over there in Cambodia who is very dear to me and I would like to see him.

You lived with me for 3 years, what was the grossest
thing about living with me?

There was a period there when it smelled like Jeremy was bowel-movementing iron ore. I don't know what was going on with him gastrointestinally, but it was not good. It was this weird metallicy-sweet smell that really worried all of us. It was strongest at our middle place: "2324" and subsided towards the end, at "1761." For a while I thought it was how our bathrooms smelled, but there were three of us and it wasn't happening with Geoffrey and me. Of course, now, I miss that smell.

You've told me you've had your purse stolen repeatedly
over the last year. What do you have in your purse?
Take your time and list all of the contents.

First off, I purchased a Le SportSac bag in NY. It was very expensive and, I thought, very French. I've only seen LeSportsac stores in Waikiki and NYC. I thought that meant "class." Then I started noticing that the only people who had LeSportsacs were overweight 50 year old women at museums.

Inside..there is
Ipod
palm pilot
FACE Stockholm pale pink lipstick
Black Honey Clinique lipgloss
Clinique powder
protective goggles for when I go tanning
a black Uni-Ball pen (micro of course)
a cool looking yellow mod notebook from Target
Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi
Aleve gelcaps
SuperGroom nail and cuticle groomer from Blisslabs NY
and
Eclipse gum.

Oh, and my wallet, which I received in the mail in April after having it stolen from me in November. People are good at heart! (Except for me--I just disparaged overweight 50 year old women. But it's not like I won't be one someday.)

Have you ever had an STD? I have. If you haven't which
STD would you choose?

I have not had an STD. I did at one point have an STP bumper sticker on the back of my car, which is, yes, very very regrettable. I would chose to have crabs. I think it's the cutest one to have. It's almost like having a musical in your pants. What STD did you have? Wasn't it crabs?

What is love?

Love is an endless, aching need. It is for me anyways. Did I quote Bette Midler correctly there? There are many types of love: mad, crazy in love love; brotherly, sisterly love; you work in the cubicle next to me and yell "oh momma!" and "whatta knucklehead!" and make me laugh love, i didn't want to be with you at first but now it's quite comfortable and great love....many types. They all make us feel connected to another and help to remove cinderblock by cinderblock the cylindrical wall that surrounds us. Maybe? I personally love love. I can't wait to love again. There is a sticker pasted around Wicker Park that says "Love Again." Please. Give me a break....(teary eyed) Thank you.

I need to go buy cigarettes but I'm not sure what time
Walgreens opens but I'm gonna go ahead and assume that
they are open. While I'm gone, please tell me who
you'd rather french kiss Katie Couric, Kathie Lee
Gifford or Condi Rice..set the scene.

I think there is something about Katie Couric. I hear she is evil--and she has no lips. There's something there. I want to explore it. It would have to involve a city, a big black car and too many glasses of chardonnay at a "gala."

I'm back. What is the biggest misconception about Kara
Buller?

Unfortunately, there are no misconceptions. Everyone is dead-on. One co-worker did tell me I always look very pulled-together, very stylish. I fear she was very wrong.

Well, we've all been reading about how you're going to
uproot and move to the Big Apple and take it by storm.
On March 25, 1911 the Triangle Factory Fire in
Greenwich Village took the lives of 145 female garment
workers, which would eventually lead to great
advancements in the city's fire department, building
codes, and workplace regulations. So, what are you
wearing today?

Oh, it's terrible. Red dress pants that hit just above the ankle, black strappy high heeled sandals that smell bad, a black sweater with a gold neckband and an orange and green scarf wrapped around my head. I woke up late and didn't have time to wash my hair. I smell very animally too. I kind of like it though.

Where were you born? Now, rearrange the letters of the
town you were born in and then try to make a word out
of them. Put that word into a sentence. Quickly..we
don't have all day.

Ithaca, New York. Chaita. I chaita do it but I couldn't.

Thank you for your time today, Kara Buller. Is there
anything you'd like to say to The Jeremy Show viewers?

Yeah, I took Jeremy's security deposit and went to Asia with it. It wasn't right. It wasn't polite. But we're going to work through this. I'm sorry if this in anyway hurt the show. We'll talk about it off camera.

Maybe you could buy me an Ipod and not one of those little pansy ones either. I want a big honker.

Where can our viewers come to see you live? What's
your schedule?

I am hosting at Gunther Murphys Aug 2. I do open mics at Bad Dog and Crush. That's it. When I get to New York, you'll be seeing me at all the big-name clubs. New York cannot resist a smelly girl in a scarf. I know it.